The Nashville Metropolitan Government’s Apparent Reaction to Snow


The setting of our story.

I, i

Early afternoon, January 20, 2011: Precipitation in the form of freezing rain that, over the course of ten minutes, turns to sleet. Inside the Metro offices, a group of decision-making employees wearing khakis and button-up shirts bought from Wal-Mart crowd around the scummy, unclean windows. (It would cost too much to have the windows cleaned, and the budget must be clear so that road work downtown may continue.) They watch, enraptured and awe-struck, as the drops turn to flakes.

Bureaucrat 1: What is this?

Bureaucrat 2: I know not. [pause] Consult the Codex.

[Audible gasp from the Metro government workers.]

Bureaucrat 3: Surely, we do not need to consult the Codex quite yet. Verily, the objects falling from the sky are truly frightening—Louis hath shat himself quite thoroughly.

Louis, the Bureaucrat: Sorry.

[Louis exits to clean himself.]

Bureaucrat 3: But one man’s soiling of himself doth not warrant the gathering of the Codex.

Archie, the Intern: What’s the Codex?

[A hush falls over the group of city employees. They turn from the windows and stare, slack jawed, at the one who does not know of the Codex.]

Bureaucrat 1: Ask thou, “What is the Codex?” Yea, thou shouldst surely ask “What is the sky?”

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An Abandoned Script

From time to time, I send scripts to Jon Lim, but he’s too much of a successful type to run them. I hold no grudge against him for getting one step closer to internet famous, but it does make me drink.

Anyway, since this particular script is a bit too untimely, I figured I’d just toss it up on the site. If anyone wants to draw it, have at it! (Stick figures welcome.)

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The Vampire Corps

Because I compulsively write, I churned out the sequel to The Attack of The Weretimberwolf-Hybrid in a few days.

It is a simple story: In the wake of the Weretimberwolf-Hybrid’s release into the United States, the beast has begun killing everyone in sight. Faced with failure, General Falcon has committed suicide and 5-Star General Hawker has gone insane.

The case was turned over to a special NATO tribunal made up of two mysterious generals named Penguin and Pelican, who convince Hawk to unleash another secret weapon: The Vampire Corps. But can the blood suckers be trusted?

This, of course, falls under the realm of stuff I’d really like to make.

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