Probably no surprise here, but as there was alcohol at this gathering, there’s going to be a lot of things to apologize for. So, with this minimal introduction out of the way, here goes nothing:
Tag Archives: My Bitter Life
My Bitter, Bitter Life: The Origin of Neuroses
One of the things that I hear most often happens when people meet me for the first time. It’s usually said after a period of silence and a lot of squinting – the sort of squinting you see from people trying to figure something out, like an incredibly difficult algebra equation. When the phrase is said, it’s said with utmost certainty. The kind of certainty applied when someone says, “It is wet outside” on a rainy day.
The phrase is, “You know, you are George Costanza.”
I once tried to rail against this. I didn’t want to remind people of a short, portly, neurotic, bespectacled horrible person. I don’t think anyone does. If I were going to be anyone in Seinfeld, I would’ve instead chosen to be Kramer. I mean, come on, the man was on strike from a bagel bakery for something like ten years and still somehow afforded rent in Manhattan. That’s the sort of luck in life I want, not driving women to lesbianism and being mistaken for a prominent Nazi.
The Twilight Review
Me as I read this book
A few brief things:
- This is not the full review. That’ll be up on Bullet Reviews tomorrow–by which I mean past noon on the 26th.
- This is rife with spoilers, but if you care about the integrity of Twilight‘s plot, then I have no respect for you.
- This is not a traditional review, but the traditional review would be roughly equivalent of the Nazis melting as they open the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
- Reading this book drove me to drink more than anything else ever has or ever will.
The Positives:
Meyer really does a good job of nailing despicable teenage angst.
The Negatives
Everything so far is a sarcastic riff about life how shitty Bella’s “self-imposed exile” is. My question is: Why is this self-imposed? What thought process led to you moving somewhere you knew you’d hate when you didn’t have to?
When Charlie, her father, steps aside to show all the family pictures around the house. Bella: Easy to see that he never got over my Mom; silly man and his emotions!!!!!!!! LOL ;P
Bella is confused that there aren’t metal detectors at her new high school. Did Bella go to South Central L.A., Phoenix, Arizona? Nope, she went to the really super nice part of town (evidenced by the prevalence of Porsches in the parking lot – that had metal detectors at its high school.)
Aaron C Simon 