Missing Shoulder Bag

From: Elaina Slusher
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 08:35 AM
Subject: missing shoulder bag

If you find a purple shoulder bag anywhere, please let me know. I took it off sometime yesterday, and haven’t been able to find it. It’s from Guatemala and is one of a kind. It was made by a village elder when I was visiting there on my vacay around South America.   Thx. Elaina

Elaina Shlusher, BSW; MS

From: Aaron Simon
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 09:00 AM
To: Elaina Slusher
Subject: RE: missing shoulder bag


Sorry to hear about your loss. Judging by the efficiency by which this place runs, you probably won’t be seeing it again.

Good news, though. I have come into recent possession of a purple shoulder bag from Guatemala and would be willing to part with it—for a price, you see. It’s one of a kind. I’ve been told that it was made as a Western schmuck.

Aaron Simon

Enrollment Guy

From: Elaina Slusher
Sent: Wednesday, August 10, 2011 09:10 AM
To: Aaron Simon
Subject: RE: RE: missing shoulder bag

Please give my bag back. It means a lot to me.

Elaina Slusher, BSW; MS

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Why The Last Thing We Need Is A Fundamentalist President

I have no faith–ironic, that–in someone who purports to place their religion over everything else in their life.

That’s the basis of my voting habits, and the basis of who I feel I can support in government elections. For the purposes of this article, I won’t be delving into details–there’s not enough coffee in the world for me to do research this close to (and assuredly after) lunch–but you can safely assume I’m talking about all those in power who don’t think Evolution is valid, or who would see Creationism taught in schools. Fill in your favorite right-wing politician wherever you think is appropriate.

Further, I’m going to be using Wikipedia as a primary source. Scoff away if you want, but keep in mind that Wikipedia does have that handy “Sources” section at the bottom of every article, and you’re quite able to click a footnote and then click a hyperlink.

You can also see this as a troll article, if you want, but that’s not how I intend it. I’m really freaked out when I see people like Rick Perry start up organizations dedicated to turning it all over to Jesus. Why? It’s simple: Religious faith of any sort is based upon a willingness to put your life in the “hands” of a being who is not of this Earth, does not reside with us, and damns those who do not fit in the Christian pigeonhole.

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On Spider-Man As A Minority

With great power, my friend. With great power.

I could take this time to comment on the coming implosion of capitalism as corporate America hires less and less people and makes more and more profit. Or I could use this space as a way to discuss the worrying trend of having a Presidential candidate whose husband is so closeted he needs a walk-in.

But I’m not going to.

I’m going to talk about comics. Because in a world this batshit insane, in a climate this crazy, it seems like Marvel Comics is the sanest thing around.

See, while the company has recently developed the eyebrow-raising maneuver of revealing major spoilers to the mainstream media, seeing a bunch of people who habitually wear capes and are famous because of their alcoholism and psychotic breaks makes more sense than this shit.

Last night, I saw Man of La Mancha. While I’m still ambivalent towards musicals, there was a great bit of dialogue in it where Cervantes has a mini-monologue about how the world is so horrible that, sometimes, diving into a world of fantasy is the only sane thing to do. I’m inclined to agree with him. The country–and definitely the world–seem to be spiraling to a point where we almost need a deity of some sort to pop down to Earth, smack us in the face, and go, “No.”

So I turn to comics and video games when I get too tired of hearing about the shit going down in Washington, The Hague, or, oh yeah, Somalia. And, you know, it’s all good. The most controversy there seems to be in the comics world is what’s up with Supes wearing jeans.

That is, until Glenn Beck apparently hears about what Joe Quesada and the rest of Marvel are doing.

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