The Health Coach

From: Ted Hayward

Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 8:58 AM

To: _EVERYONE

Subject: Your Health Coach

Happy Monday, everyone.

As you may be aware, the state employees’ insurance program requires you to hold to their standards. (Don’t worry. As long as you don’t eat fried chicken and Jell-O for every meal, you will be fine.) One of the ways they enforce the standards are the annual physicals you already came across for your Partnership Promise.

You’ll also be in contact with your “health coach.” They’ll be helping you along the way to better health and a better lifestyle. Your health coach should be in contact with you soon. It is imperative that you work with them, as they are responsible for turning in reports that may result in increases to your premiums.

If you have any questions, please let me know. I’m back in my office.

Best,

Ted Hayward

Human Resources Director

From: Aaron Simon

Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 9:00 AM

To: Ted Hayward

Subject: RE: Your Health Coach

What are you doing back, you whelp?

Aaron Simon

Pissed

From: Ted Hayward

Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 9:15 AM

To: Aaron Simon

Subject: RE: RE: Your Health Coach

Hi Aaron,

Yeah, it’s great to be back. Especially after seeing some of the things that happen in federal prisons. That isn’t anything I would wish on anyone.

Not even you.

In the interests of a working environment, I suggest putting an end to whatever hostilities you might want to strike up against me. It’s pointless and juvenile.

Best,

Ted Hayward

Human Resources Director

From: Aaron Simon

Sent: Monday, August 15, 2011 10:01 AM

To: Ted Hayward

Subject: RE: RE: RE: Your Health Coach

Your face is pointless and juvenile.

-Aaron Simon

Just Owned You

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