As you may or may not remember, Dear Reader, I started a chain of letters over the summer between two characters, one of which written by a friend of mine, the other by me. (You can read the first one here.) Well, slowly but surely, the letters are continuing and this entry is the response to the first and second letters. (You wouldn’t have read the second letter, as I’m still editing it. Going to put it up for publication, you see.)
All the backstory you need to know is that my character has recently claimed that he’s hired C’thulhu as a security guard.
Reginald St Smythe-Smythington Holst-Dulverton, B.A., Ph. D, M.D., J.D.
The Black Gate
3 October, 2010
My dear friend, Mr Holst-Dulverton, B.A., Ph. D, M.D., J.D.
I owe you my sincerest apologies for my extreme delay in return to your August letters but simply put, my staff have been trying my patience. Now, you see, good sir, that I usually have my butler, Clarence, write up my letters and send them off with the Royal Mail, as I like to support England’s (God save the Queen!) infrastructure. Recently though, we got into a bit of an argument, because you see, Holst-Dulverton B.A., Ph. D, M.D., J.D., he did not properly press my undergarments. He had starched them too much, thus making them too stiff. I promptly used the hard-as-a-board undergarments as a tool of punishment and smashed him in the face with it. I must have hit him too hard, as he then stood up and threatened to quit. This act of disobedience could not be tolerated. As you know, I have a sizable militia patrolling my grounds, so I called in a handful of my most trusted men and told them to do with Clarence as they would.
The screams died down fairly quickly, and the issue was dealt with.