Area Man Amazed by Prevalence of Popular Music

PORTLAND, OR – Aaron Simon, a new arrival to the city, is reportedly amazed by the prevalence of popular new-folk band Mumford & Sons, sources claim.

“They’re everywhere,” the man has been heard to say. “It’s like they’ve had two very successful albums, or something.”

The band’s first album, Sigh No More, which reached No. 2 in the U.S. Billboard charts and was honored as the best album of 2011by the BRIT Awards, is a popular fixture in independently-owned coffee houses in the Portland area. The singles “Little Lion Man” and “The Cave” remain popular fixtures of alternative radio stations.

“They’re songs that keep people happy,” said Adam Leverde, owner of The Eightfold Path, a North Tabor coffee house. “Whenever I’m in control of the music, I try to play some Mumford once or twice. Customers really like ’em, you know?”

The band’s songs involve traditional folk rhythms and, often, spiritually- and literature-inspired lyrics.

“Wherever I go, man,” said Simon. “It’s like it’s all people want to hear. It’s like these songs really resonate with people.” The area man then pointedly sighed.

The band could not be reached for comment.

 

Orks and Poets

People like to tout about Nietzsche quotes as if the guy weren’t a prolific author who, by virtue of having a staggering mind, often contradicted himself. His philosophy is something much different from Plato’s “THE ONLY WORTHY GOVERNMENT IS ONE BY A PHILOSOPHER-KING!” N’s philosophy is a bit more like a labyrinth – twists, turns, and, at the end (if there can really be an end to a philosophy), a pretty big reward for gathering some meaning from it. Leaving the maze, if we’re keeping to the metaphor.

But I’m not here to post about Neeters (as his friends called him) in a general sense – I’m talking about one quote in particular – that one about how the act of creating requires inner conflict. Or something like that – the thing about quoting translations is that you run into different wordings of the same thing. Still, you know what I mean.

In my experience, the sort of people who like to use that term aren’t so much writers as fans of Nietzsche. They populate vast tracts of writers’ workshops, churn out long treatises about the shallowness of modern living, wear black, and, on the side, read a lot of Gore Vidal and Noam Chomsky. You may have had some interaction with them in the classroom, thought about how strange it is that they never really write anything, and then – a couple of years later – meet them in a coffee place.

“Hey man,” you say, expertly hiding the fact that you hated them two years ago. “How’ve you been doing? Still writing?”

The answer is almost a universal constant. “No. There just wasn’t anything happening anymore.”

Or something to that effect. You may get something like they could never get published – or they found their true calling in video installation art – or they started writing [shiver] poetry. Whatever the case, it’s no big loss to the world of words. There are entirely too many writers and magazines out there who focus on the same old tired exhausted sighs resulting from the sudden realization of the vapidity of modern life. That retail is (shocking) not perfectly compatible with their dreams.

Look, I get it. It’s retail. You’re not getting paid a fortune to sit around, look bemused, and jot down the occasional paragraph of Franzen-clone fiction. I’m not a fan of it either. But, again, this isn’t what this post is about.

This post is about The Process.

The people who write about the vapidity of modern life don’t get The Process. (Okay, there are some that do. There are some whitewashed-MFA-fiction writers out there who really treat writing like it’s a job. But I’m not attacking them. I’m attacking this totally fictional strawman.) They’ll throw the Nietzsche quote out there – and others like it – like it’s an excuse for not writing, or not working on the [shudder – I hate this word] craft.

Writing is a brutal process. It’s on par with Zen training. To be a writer means that you have to strip your ego down to its bare essentials – you have to understand what makes you you. No, I don’t mean that you go around saying “I am an Author;” I mean you understand yourself at a base level – in a way that a lot of people will never approach. You have to destroy the ego and uncover the self.

If Zen is sitting around, staring at a wall in the hopes that, some day, you’ll get to grasp what it all is, then writing is the same thing, but with a keyboard and a red ink pen instead of a zendo. You’ve gotta be in tune with yourself, know how you think, know what makes you tick, and you have to make that jive with the language of everyone else. That sounds weird, I know. Who doesn’t know who they are? Who doesn’t express that in their daily lives?

You probably know plenty of people who don’t. That guy who’s all smiles, firm handshakes, and white teeth – but, at some level, you can tell that something is off about him? There’s just some thing that makes you you shiver when thinking about the dude, or just interacting with him. Like a less-stabby Patrick Bateman. For whatever reason, he’s the kind of guy I’m talking about.

What I’m getting at is you have to get over the idea that writing is contingent on chaos. Because it’s not. Writing is a job like any other, and, like any other job, if you’re going to perform on a consistent basis (however you want to define that), then you’ve gotta have stability. There’s a reason Keruoac never wrote while he was on the road. Or why Stephen King (yep, him again), keeps a ridiculously strict schedule, why Dickens went on nearly cross-country walks.

They built themselves a regimen, kept to it, and produced. It’s nearly the complete opposite of chaos, isn’t it?

Let’s also not forget that – yeah, he may have written fiction, but Nietzsche was a philosopher and not an author.

Part of me wants to wrap this up with a summary – or something bordering on a moral – but I don’t think I can. I mean, I’ve still got plenty of undisciplined days. (Especially now that I’m job hunting as a full time job instead of being able to get into the office early to work! [That, of course, is an excuse. One that I really need to ditch.]) So who am I to tell you all of this? Who am I to tell you that you’re doing it wrong?

No one.

You shouldn’t really listen to me about this stuff – unless you’re desperate. (Or looking for an editor!) Part of the awesome thing about being a fiction writer is making your own rules. Many people can’t write in the morning. That’s when I get my best work done. A lot of people can write in groups. I can’t; that’s when I start talking to people about books or video games. A ton of people take part in Friday Night Writes, which breaks both of my above rules.

So, find your way, but if you’re going to listen to anything I think, you should hear me when I say you need to develop a system. Chaos is only good for Orks and poets.

Cards: The Attackening!: The Kickstarter: The Reflection

So as you may know, I was working on a card game with my buddy, Josh Robinson. It was created out of a serious need to make something visible, tangible. (At least on my end. There’s only so many short stories and fledgling novels you can come up with before you start thinking that you should go into carpentry, or something.)

It was a great idea – and it remains a great idea, I think. However, there were a couple of problems that we didn’t think about. But first, before I start talking about what went on at the end, let’s talk shop:

For those of you who don’t know him from Unadulterated Hyperbole, currently on hiatus while half of the casters get set up on the West Coast, Josh is obsessed with card games, video games, and games in general. He wanted to create a game, I forced myself into the process, and from that, Wanton Walrus Productions, LLC was born.

We contracted Kyle Olson to do the art, become even more psyched about the project, and started the Kickstarter.

And then the Fates, seeing how awesome our project was going to be, decided that it had to be stricken down. Josh was called away to an undisclosed location to train ninjas, I moved across the country in search of… stuff, and, as a result, we couldn’t put a lot of time into working on marketing the Kickstarter.

As of typing this, it’s sitting at just over $1,500 raised out of the $4,500. It’s a bummer. We had a great start, exploding at the start, and then, after a great first week wherein we raised about a grand, we plateaued.

There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Josh claimed that I was willingly sabotaging the project by “hexing” potential backers. I claimed that Josh was performing arcane rituals that were backfiring and resulting in the destruction of everything we hold dear. Stuff happens, you know?

So, after the wounds were scabbed over and healed (mostly), Josh and I had a talk and tried to work out what we did wrong.

We came away with a few salient points, most of which we agreed on, some we still don’t agree on. The most important ones are:

  1. Marketing!: We didn’t contribute the necessary amount of time to putting the Kickstarter out there. Most of our backers came from discovering the ‘starter through the front page, and when our numbers (i.e., frequency of backers) started dropping, so did our popularity, which… well, you get the point.
  2. Demo decks: We totally blanked on this one. We were so sure that everyone would love our project (and, to be fair, we had about 40 dudes and dudettes who did), that we didn’t think we needed to send out demo decks. SPOILER ALERT: We needed to.
  3. Backer Rewards: We thought we’d go with humor as a draw, and, despite the fact that we knew this probably not the best way to go about it, we stayed the course. As a result, everyone who backed the project backed the tiers that were directly related to bettering the card game. For some reason, this surprised us.
  4. Print-and-play: This is a source of contention in Wanton Walrus HQ (somewhere in Kansas, going geographically), and negotiations are still going down.

So, after talking about it and realizing that both of us are still really psyched about this, and after confirming that Kyle is still psyched about it, we have come to the conclusion that the show must go on. We’re going to look at what we need to revamp, what can stay the same, what can be altered – and then look at launching Cards: The Attackening!: The Phoenixing in the first quarter of next year.

So, to everyone who contributed: Thanks so much! It means a lot to know that people other than us think there’s promise in the product. We’re going to be working on gathering all your contact information via nefarious means, and then getting back in touch in a couple of months.

Thanks again,

Aaron