Wherein I take a swipe at low-hanging fruit

Really, this was extremely lazy. Ah well, had to write something today.

WASHINGTON, D.C. During a Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations hearing on Apple, Inc.’s (AAPL) offshore tax holdings, Senator John McCain (R, Ariz.) was quoted as saying, “I’m out of time, but what I really wanted to ask was why the hell do I have to keep updating apps on my iPhone all the time, and why can’t you fix that?”

Though the moment was played as a lighthearted end to a session grilling Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, anonymous McCain aides have stated that this was not the first time Senator McCain has expressed bafflement at modern technology.

“I know the office – and everyone on the subcommittee – thinks the Senator was joking,” said one aide, “but I’m not so sure.”

The aide talked about various moments in the past when the Senator expressed severe confusion and, at times, anger about technology.

In one instance, said the aide, she was called in to the Senator’s office to find Mr. McCain staring and frowning at his computer. She asked what was wrong and the Senator said, “It’s im-[redacted]-possible to pick up Cronkite on this [redacted] thing. Fix it.”

During the campaign, she continued, referring to the Senator’s 2008 bid for the Presidency, the candidate was “infuriated” and “damned to tarnation” the iPhone 3G. Staffers had insisted that McCain use one to appear as tech-savvy as his opponent, but the campaign often found the Senator “holed up in the bus and trying to use it as a remote control.”

“It’s [redacted],” he was quoted as saying at the time. “You tell me why a [redacted] remote control needs a [redacted] screen. You sit there with your [redacted] and you [redacted] tell me that, you filly.”

Responding to an e-mail regarding Mr. McCain’s outburst in the Senate Subcommittee, the McCain office stated, “Senator McCain is extremely tech-savvy, despite his portrayal in the media as a curmudgeon confused by devices that have been largely unchanged for five years.

“Further,” the office continued, “Mr. McCain would like to challenge any of you to sit down and take him on, one versus one, man vs man, in Pong. Or Frogger. But nothing that moves faster than those, or anything with more complicated graphics than an NES game. Modern media confuses him, and often gives him a headache.”

Though critics of the media coverage of McCain’s question say that giving the statement attention is a waste of time, many members of Congress have taken up technology – utilizing Twitter, Facebook, and, in some cases, Tumblr – to interact with potential voters.

One of the best known cases of Congress’s presence on Twitter was the Anthony Weiner scandal. After tweeting photos showing his penis to female followers, the Weiner case became a guidebook on how not to act on Twitter.

McCain himself is no stranger to social media faux pas. After initially joining Twitter, some of the first tweets on the McCain account were, “Too many [redacted] on this site. #whitepride”

The tweet wass quickly deleted, and the office of the Senator offered a statement that the account had been compromised.

The Senator’s second account, @TheRealMcCain, was fairly innocuous until a tweet reading, “When it comes to money, Romney’s half a Jew – and that’s what we need in government. #Romney2012” sparked an uproar.

The Senator’s spokesman stated that the account was hacked again, blaming “teenagers with too much time on their hands, too busy playing World of MagicCraft to get a job.”

Since then, @SenMcCain has been tweeting steady, nonoffensive tweets, though it has been rumored that an intern has been in charge of the account, rather than Senator McCain himself.

“Don’t understand what the big deal is,” said Senator McCain in a tweet. “I fought for this country. I can complain about this app crap.”

He followed the tweet with: “And remember, Apple. I’m on the subcommittee hearing your case! #government” and http://www.google.com search for why does palin haunt my dreams


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