Lesson of the Day

Apparently Wikipedia has a liberal bias.

This is the only thing that explains the existence of Conservapedia, which bills itself as The Trustworthy Encyclopedia. The updated definition of “trustworthy” states:

(adj.) 3. Conservative and Christian in point-of-view.

Who knew?

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Things I’ve Learned – School Pride

One of the things I’ve learned in my life has been a lesson about the power of school pride.

Let’s start at the beginning, as I’ve been told by professors, teachers, and books about writing (and books about writers writing–and those are the worst), the beginning is a great place to start.

When I was in high school, in the poor excuse for civilization that is Smyrna, Tennessee, I wrote what I can only describe as Aaron’s Guide to Misanthropy. If you prefer, it was like the Airing of Grievances in Festivus put to book form. I figured that everyone around me could be pegged into cliques, and, further, I received a good amount of Lewis Black-style rage from each of these cliques. Instead of talking out my problems with people, or, as the more mentally unbalanced members of our society do, bring a gun into the equation, I decided I’d write it all down. Blogging, kind of, but with a guaranteed audience and the satisfaction of knowing that Google wouldn’t index it for all eternity. So I wrote it all down. All the things that went through my head when I saw the JROTC kids walk through the halls in uniform with rifles (fascists, deargodtheyregonnakillusall), or the American chavs walk through the halls with jeans so baggy they were going to trip over them, all of that went in the, er, manifesto.

And then, because hey, why not, I printed out a few copies and left them around some rooms. Nothing ever came of it aside from a few people knowing who wrote it and one teacher saying it was hilarious. But there’s one reason I bring it up now: school pride.

It’s especially disturbing in high school, as you realize that, more and more as time moves on, high school isn’t the bridge from adolescence to adulthood that it once was. That’s college. So, reflecting on that (and the in-high school version of that little epiphany might be “All these people are idiots”), the idea of shouting “Go ____!” and seemingly advocating the destruction of another body of learning because of an upcoming football game renders itself absurd.

When I was in high school, though, it was a big deal. The only reason it was a big deal was because I didn’t know what I’d be getting into at The University of Tennessee.

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The Wisdom Teeth Experience

The culprits

So I’d been stumbling around the intarwebs, as I am wont to do, and came across Hyperbole and a Half’s post called The Party. I read it. Then I read it again, this time not pooping myself in laughter, and, instead, thinking about my own wisdom tooth experience. Now, according to my website’s stat counter (thank you WordPress, for putting that extra distracti0n into my day), most of you find these articles from notes on facebook, which means I literally know my readership. (Hi guys!) This, in turn, means that, today, I’m going to subject you to a story about my family and how we handle anything major, including surgery.

When I was seventeen – barely into the joys that would come right before Fate took my car away as I smashed it into two other, parked, cars – I went to the dentist for a routine checkup. “Ah,” said the hygenist, a large woman who frequently mistook me for my brother, “looks like your wisdom teeth are growing… oddly.”

“Hey, that just means I’m eclectic.” I’d recently learned the word from one of my teachers and had no idea what it meant.

“Uh. Yeah,” she said, removing the white mask and calling the dentist in.

Dr. Tuma came in, had a poke and said, “Yeah, we’re going to get those removed.

And that’s when the flashbacks began.

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