An Open Letter to the Spam Bots Infesting My Blog

Dear Spam Bots,

 

Good morning. I am, of course, aware that I have not been posting as much as I should be on this site. I am, after all, paying for the domain. I should at least use it. I get it. I really do! Further, I thank you for your posts, because every time I get an e-mail reminder from WordPress that I should moderate the spam that’s been infesting my blog, it’s a reminder that I should also post to the blog.

It’s not for want of material! There’s a lot out there that I want to write about. Indeed, I have been writing. I swear! I’m about 25k words in on a primer on classical music for a friend. I’ve been working on a long-form article about conventions in Portland’s gaming scene. I’ve been working on fiction, too–trust me on that. It’s just, you know, there’s only so many hours in the day, and with a 1.5 hour commute (at the least) every day, I can’t really get time to update my blog. If I did, I’d have to give up my more in-depth writing projects, and I’m just not willing to do that.

Yes, I know, you’re basically my only audience. This may very well be your only way of saying that. Your bizarre, non-English posts might be a way of saying, “Aaron! Post! We miss reading your thoughts as we break through WordPress’s horrible spam-catching infrastructure.” If so, message received, comrades! There’s no need to continue posting on my Documentation article. Or the Christmas Letter from two years ago. Please stop. You’re filling up my inbox too much, and I hate having to cultivate that thing.

So, look. Okay. I’ll post more to this thing. I really will. Just stop. Please?

Yours,

Aaron Simon